Increase your hand when you’ve ever been instructed you’re “an excessive amount of.” Too loud. Too emotional. Too passionate. Too formidable. Too… you.
For lots of girls, that’s the cue to begin shrinking. We tone down our voice, dim our fiery nature, and sand down the sharp, lovely edges that make us who we’re—all within the determined hope of being accepted. We study to censor our jokes, conceal our huge goals, and put a lid on our emotions as a result of we’re afraid our real selves can be rejected.
However right here’s the tough-love, liberating fact: the fixed effort to make your self smaller is exhausting … AND it’s additionally the #1 cause you are feeling so drained and caught in less-than-stellar relationships.
Leaning into your genuine self and proudly proudly owning your “too much-ness” is definitely your secret weapon. It’s the one approach to construct the high-quality connections you deserve—and eventually dial down your stress for good.
The Drawback With Shrinking Your self
Continuously modifying your self to be extra palatable is a one-way ticket to burnout. On high of holding again the true you, you’re expending an enormous quantity of psychological and emotional vitality to take action.
Each time you chew your tongue, fake a joke was funnier than it was, or swallow your true emotions, you’re making a withdrawal out of your valuable vitality reserves.
This creates a quiet, insidious type of stress that lives simply beneath the floor, leaving you anxious and unfulfilled—even whenever you’re surrounded by individuals.
The reality? You’re basically in a relationship with a model of you that doesn’t even exist, and the individuals round you might be responding to that pretend model. That, my buddy, is a recipe for deep loneliness.
Your “Too A lot-ness” Is a Relationship Filter
Once you cease apologizing in your enthusiasm, ardour, or huge, typically messy emotions, one thing unbelievable occurs: you begin attracting your soulmate relationships.
Friendships
This implies discovering soul-sisters who don’t simply tolerate your wild concepts—they’re those who say, “YES! And what if we did this subsequent?!” They cheer in your ambition as an alternative of seeing it as a menace. These friendships go deeper than surface-level chatter since you’re absolutely seen and understood with out judgment.
Partnerships
In love, this implies discovering a associate who celebrates your quirks and loves you for the individual you might be—not the individual you fake to be. The suitable associate will encourage your boldest goals and by no means ask you to shrink for his or her consolation. (Bonus: they’ll match your bizarre.)
Communities
In your bigger group, it means surrounding your self with individuals who get it. Whether or not it’s your exercise group, e-book membership, or a web-based house, you’ll discover circles the place your concepts are met with curiosity and pleasure, not well mannered nods and fast topic modifications.
Once you present up as your full, unapologetic self, you’re sending a transparent sign: That is who I’m. Take it or depart it. And the individuals who take it? They’re your individuals. Those who depart? They have been by no means meant for you anyway—and also you simply saved your self a ton of wasted time and vitality.
Why Proudly owning Your Genuine Self Reduces Stress
Embracing your “too much-ness” can also be one of the vital highly effective types of self-care. It’s a direct path to much less stress and extra peace.
Once you’re not policing each phrase you say or emotion you are feeling, you liberate large quantities of psychological bandwidth.
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As a substitute of agonizing over whether or not it’s best to ship your buddy that nerdy article you liked—you simply ship it, and so they get excited too.
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As a substitute of hiding your huge enterprise thought—you share it, and immediately the correct connection seems.
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As a substitute of swallowing your frustration in a relationship—you talk your wants, and your associate rises to fulfill you.
That is what residing authentically appears like. It’s radical self-trust—and it not solely strengthens your relationships, it strengthens your relationship with your self.
Cease Shrinking, Begin Thriving
Being “an excessive amount of” is just not a flaw—it’s proof that you’ve got a strong mild to share with the world. Hiding it solely creates extra stress and loneliness.
Your distinctive mix of enthusiasm, empathy, and ambition is the very factor that may entice your individuals.
So cease shrinking. Begin shining. And watch each your relationships and your peace of thoughts flourish.
What’s one a part of your self you’ve been holding again that you just’re able to lastly share with the world? – Alex
Need a Protected Area to Be Absolutely You?
If you happen to’re prepared to fulfill your soul household TODAY and begin practising full expression in a protected teaching house, my Unfuckwittable Membership is the right place. There’s even a whole module on this very matter—so you’ll be able to apply it in actual life and really feel grounded when you do it. Be taught extra and be a part of our highly effective group right here.
