Robby Wells is a former soccer coach who has picked up a behavior of operating for president. He made his first bid for the job in 2012, aiming initially for the nomination of the remnants of Ross Perot‘s Reform Social gathering after which seeing if the conservative Structure Social gathering was . (It wasn’t.) In 2016 he tried for the Democratic nomination, then switched to operating as an impartial when he wasn’t invited to any Democratic debates. (“The consensus,” his web site claims, “was that he was blocked out of concern of his debate abilities.”) He took one other shot on the Democratic nomination in 2020, and this 12 months he ran because the nominee of the Social gathering Social gathering, a gaggle impressed by the rock singer Andrew W.Ok.
Wells was on the poll this month in precisely one state: Rhode Island. Based on the present depend at Dave Leip’s Atlas of U.S. Presidential Elections, he has 358 votes; the Rhode Island Board of Elections places his winnings barely larger, at 359. Both method, he is in final place.
There’s a likelihood that would change, as Wells is operating simply barely behind Invoice “Doc” Stodden of the Socialist Social gathering USA, whose present whole at Leip’s web site is 361. Stodden’s social gathering is descended from the well-known Socialist Social gathering of Eugene Debs and Norman Thomas, although strictly talking it wasn’t born till that group broke into three competing factions within the Nineteen Seventies. However neither Stodden nor his operating mate, Stephanie Cholensky, is a democratic socialist within the Debs-Thomas mildew: Each of them are anarcho-communists. And anarcho-communists historically don’t vote, which can assist clarify why Stodden is only a hair away from ending final.
For now, although, the last-place medal belongs to Wells and his philosophy of “Eaglenomics,” which—I’m quoting once more from his web site—takes “the perfect concepts from the Left Wing and the Proper Wing to revive Prosperity to the USA and to permit each citizen an opportunity on the American Dream.” Until you depend write-in votes, during which case the last-place place is a huge tie between everybody whose identify was scrawled on precisely one poll. We don’t, alas, have a nationwide database of each single write-in throughout America, however Vermont does publish its totals on-line. And within the Inexperienced Mountain State, the one-vote finishers embrace Doug Burgum, Steve Garvey, Clint Eastwood, Dolemite, presidential murderer Leon Czolgosz (for individuals who just like the poll and the bullet), JFK Jr., Randy Marsh of South Park, and “Dwayne Elizondo” (presumably brief for Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Camacho, the president in Idiocracy), amongst others. There was additionally one vote for the Sinwar/Nasrallah ticket.
Earlier than you tut-tut that these voters did not take their sacred democratic responsibility very severely, keep in mind that there was by no means a critical likelihood that anybody however Vice President Kamala Harris was going to hold Vermont this 12 months. If these residents had been losing their votes, so was any Vermonter who voted for Donald Trump. And if it is defensible to ship a sign by voting for Trump in a solidly blue state or for Harris in a solidly crimson one, then who’re we to evaluate somebody who despatched a sign by voting for Dolemite?
At any price: Say what you’ll concerning the tenets of both Eaglenomics or anarcho-communism, however whether or not it is Wells or Stoddard who in the end lands in final place, you’ll be able to relaxation assured that in contrast to the big-name pols, he will not do any injury.
Or at the very least he will not do any injury by means of the political system. I want so as to add that caveat due to what occurred the final time I wrote one among these studies on the race for the rear.
4 years in the past I interviewed Zac Scalf, an impartial candidate whose 29 votes gave him the bottom whole of the 2020 election. He instructed me the entire thing had been a social experiment to see how a lot assist an obscure dude who did not marketing campaign may get simply by being on a single state’s poll. It was all very charming, or so it appeared till 2022, when my story on the Scalf marketing campaign immediately obtained a second wave of visitors. Seems the previous candidate had simply murdered a lady after which killed himself. Apparently, there’s only a skinny line separating charming Americana from the indigenous American berserk.
